Miraculous Brightside monastery
As in every sacred place there is a ritual you should stick up with to get maximum of your pilgrimage. Although Aurelius didn't left any written documentation on how to use available equipment practice approved a couple of assumptions. There are four independant praying wheels, each connected to its own group of electric monks, representing four sides of the world. Wheels are texturised using image of $ currency in a way assuring that "In God we trust" sentence is visible (this is of very most importance). Electric monks are not connected to the wheels but to your mind, using telepathy, they are reacting on your thought, ie. if you can touch the wheel without thinking about that they will miss to start their mantra, try this. Those familiar with Zen should be quite comfortable to this way of acting. Anyway, normal behavior is to think clearly about your action so monks will start EuroOom mantra immediately and keep repeating it during the entire cycle of spinning, about 60 seconds. To achieve the bigest possible vibration all four wheels should be moved up so that all monks are busy humbling to thier parts of the world. Keep doing this for at least 3 minutes, ie. make at least three circles around the backyard touching wheel if it is stoped, but as much as better, of course. There is no exact recommendation about the direction you have to use in circling, someone use clockwise, someone counter clockwise it seems to be a matter of personal choice and there is no harm in mixing those two. That is the basis. Act as a believer and you'll become believer, it is time tested approach in all religions. Believe and miracle will come, usually after all your expectations were gone.
We at E-Commercial Church can not guaranty material success to every single visitor, as always when it comes to the faith, the end result is something between you and Gods. Our mission is just to show you a path to the higher worlds, how you are going to use that opportunity is up to you. However, there will be a lot of other things where we can endorse the quality of our service. For example, as soon as our Confession Programme goes to life we can guaranty fair redemption prices for every sin from adultery to the war crime. Our AI guided Electric Shepherds will hardly take care about your babble, you'll get your blessing guaranted, just bribe them enough. If you donate something to our church you can be sure in turn you'll get forgiveness for your sins...as everywhere.
And that is not all, of course. We have plans about female department which will
include cyber nuns engaged in psychoteraphy and a couple of gadgets for every day use.
First, there will be an instance of Random Number Generator Machine as a helper in
gambling and, beside of this, there will be an Ultimate Answer Machine able to solve
problems of immense complexity. Have on mind that UAM was ment only for profound
philosophical and etical questions, if it is about trivial daily dilemmas, such as a bank
loan, divorce or robbery, consult your friend or relative, or even better some pro, lawer
or a shrink.
To get better picture about E-Commercial Church and our services do not miss to read our official Disclaimer.
Enjoy your visit to this holy place, believe and get rich!